Moving!

"Remember you have one life. That's all. You were made for God. Don't waste it." -John Piper

The moderately minimalist family is moving! We bought a house.

Four years ago our family started the minimalist journey with a move from the suburbs of Indianapolis, IN to the suburbs of Atlanta, GA. We moved from an 1800 square foot house to a 1200 square foot apartment. We got rid of half of our things out of actual necessity. At the time, it wasn't a conscious choice I was making. I was moving from a house with 24 kitchen cabinets to an apartment with 12 kitchen cabinets. How did it feel to get rid of half our stuff? It didn't make me feel deprived. I didn't feel like I was lacking anything. It didn't make me feel anxiety or panic. People ask me if I ever regret anything I got rid of. The answer is no. I have no regrets. I don't feel like anything is missing. I feel... free!

I find I have more time and money. I want less stuff so that I waste less time. Time wasted on shopping and researching where to get the best deal. Time wasted on cleaning it and finding just the right place for it. Time wasted on reorganizing it when people don't put it away. Time wasted looking for things people haven't put away. I want less stuff so that I waste less money. Money wasted on extra clothes, too many toys, an abundance of shoes, bags or DVDs. Money wasted on library fines because I can't find books under everything. Wasted money on buying extra notebooks and pens because they got buried as well. I want to use the extra time and money to serve my family, my community and my church. “Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moths and vermin destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moths and vermin do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." (Matt. 6:19-21)

As we began shopping for a house last month, I felt a little anxious. The Atlanta market is tight. The first house we put an offer on was gone in less than 24 hours. And so many of the houses are huge. Houses with 3000 square feet and 5 bedrooms. I was nervous that we would end up with a monstrosity that didn't really reflect our values. I prayed that we would find just the right home to push us toward our goals. A house small enough that we couldn't carelessly or thoughtlessly fill it up. But large enough that we could serve others through hospitality. And we found it! It has 2000 square feet. Now it is up to us what we do with that 2000 square feet.

As we move once again, what an opportunity we have for reevaluation. As we touch every item in our home and pack it in a box, I ask myself questions. Is this something that I use regularly? Does this thing bring me closer to my goals? Is this thing part of the process of using my time and resources in service to others? Or is it hindering me? We haven't gotten rid of much this time around. Moving is phenomenally easier as a minimalist. I am eagerly anticipating our next step in our lives as we settle into our new home. And we find ways to use our time and money to serve our family, community and church.

Pinterest Moms Are Not Trying To Make You Look Bad

There has been a blog post being cycled around simplicity groups for a couple years now. Essentially it says moms are going overboard with the holidays and to please "bring it down a notch". Essentially her children expect Easter Bunny footprints and coins and Leprachaun traps on St. Patty's Day. Here it is if you haven't seen it yet and are interested in reading it yourself.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/kristen-howerton/can-we-bring-the-holidays_b_2903040.html

My reaction is the exact opposite that I have seen on the average minimalist board. My first thought is stop letting peer pressure bother you! AND teach your kids not to buy into it. Someone else has something or does something and her kids want it too. "I want to hide coins like the other kids." "I want a pie because someone at school talked about it for Pi Day." "Dr Seuss happened at school and I want it to happen at home." When that child gets a few years older you know what they will be saying? Where's my iPhone? Where's my car? Where's my Aeropostale shirt? That woman is going to be longing for the days when all her kids asked her to do was hide some coins.

I wish this woman would take this opportunity to talk about their own family's belief systems and traditions. A math teacher I know has said she will be having pie on Pi Day. That doesn't mean math is special to me and I should do it. But there is absolutely nothing wrong with her choosing to do it. Use it as an opportunity to talk about simplicity and minimalism if that is why you are choosing not to do it. Let them have their Dr. Seuss fun at school and tell them that Dr. Seuss was a great author of children's books and it was appropriate to celebrate that at school or at the library but maybe not in our home.... or maybe in your home too if he happens to be your child's favorite author. Your child is not going to be shunned if you don't bring candy to school on Valentine's Day. The other kids won't even know. By the time those boxes get opened, half the candy has fallen off the card, the kids are ripping it to open it. My son has no idea who gave him what. Wanting to put candy on the card is again just wanting to do what everyone else does, peer pressure.

I don't do Santa. I don't do Elf on a Shelf. I don't leave footprints from the Easter bunny. I didn't leave out any gold coins for St. Patrick's Day. We do make Resurrection rolls. We do a lego/day for advent. We do make a big deal out of report card day.... but I am getting ahead of myself. My point is.... decide what is important to you and do it! And stop judging other people who are having fun and learn that sometimes one person can have something and another person doesn't have it. Everyone's life is different and that is ok.

"I grew up in troubled, angry, and unpredictable family. One thing proved a small but weighty anchor for me: family holiday traditions. We didn't have Norman Rockwell holidays; ours were a much less funny version of the Honeymooners. But a base of security was laid down for me in the predictability cycle of heart shaped Jello for Valentine's Day and Easter baskets and Thanksgiving salad in that special bowl. No matter what was going on, these traditions went on, and they strengthened me. I counted on them and they were there, year in and year out. Red heart shaped Jello, for crying out loud. Such a little thing. But red heart shaped Jello year after year after year after year was something else entirely."
Treasuring God in our Traditions by Noel Piper

Someone bought me this sweet book not long after Luke was born. And we began to talk about what our family would do to celebrate. To celebrate Christmas, Thanksgiving, Easter, Birthdays and Valentine's Day. DH would share with me what his family did. Often looking reflective and content as he spoke. Then I would share how my family had celebrated the same day entirely differently. One family was allowed to open a gift on Christmas Eve, the other was not. And it was up to us to decide. What would our family do? When making these decisions, it is super important to take into account who you are, what is important to you, what you cherish or, as Noel Piper writes about, what you treasure. It should look different for everyone. It doesn't matter what the neighbors are doing. It doesn't matter what our parents did. The decision is now ours.

I became a minimalist so that I could spend more time on the things that really matter. Yet I waste much of my time and sometimes get busy with things I wish I didn't have to. For me, I love having something to celebrate with my kids once/ month. I think it gives rhythm and meaning to our lives. On Valentine's Day, I slow down. I tell my kids I love them, cut out paper hearts, make heart cookies, get on Pinterest and pick out the Valentine they want to share with their friends. And since I am a minimalist, I have the time to do it. I'm not doing it to impress anyone. I do it strictly for them. We aren't being commercial. We aren't buying a bunch of junk. I think it fits in with our minimalist lifestyle very well. We are just spending quality time together. Are people really writing articles and getting angry because other moms are choosing to spend quality time with their kids? For Easter we don't do the Easter bunny we do Resurrection Rolls because we are Christian and I am teaching my children what I value. This is about our family and how we do things. Not about how other people do things. And I won't be peer pressured out of it.

The Effects of the Mall on my Four Year Old

Christmas is coming. The "I wants" show up every year at this time. I may have mentioned before what my kids sound like when they have a case of the "I wants". Say "I want" 10 times fast. "I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want". The Moderately Minimalist 4 year old has a serious case of the "I wants". He asked me how many gifts he would be opening on Christmas. I said 4. He started to cry. He says he wants 10 gifts. He has only asked me for 3 things. He wants Batman legos, Spiderman legos, and Spiderman paint. I asked him, what 10 things do you want? He named the same 3 things. I pointed out that he only has 3 things on his list. He couldn't name anything else. His heart just wants. But he has no idea what it wants.

Last night the Moderately Minimalist Family went to the mall. We went to see the mall decorations and eat an Auntie Anne's pretzel. Nintendo was camped out in the center of the mall demonstrating video games. The Moderately Minimalist 10 year old had a blast trying them out. The Moderately Minimalist 4 year old cried that we didn't get to take them home. We browsed through the Disney store on the way out. The kids got to watch part of a movie in there while coloring a picture. The 4 year old asked, "Can I buy a toy?" Did you catch that phrase? "A toy". But he didn't say "that Toy Story toy" or that "Inside Out toy". Any toy will do. The "I wants" were there again. Wanting, but not even knowing what he wanted.

On the way home he began to cry again. He said he wanted to open 10 presents on Christmas. I again asked him what he specifically wanted, to show him that there were only 3 things on his list. But this time, fresh from the mall, his list was much longer. He named everything he had just seen. My heart fell. The mall had given his "I wants" names. Now he had named all ten of them. Now that they have names, they will be harder to do battle against.

The problem is not the mall. Neither is the problem TV. We will continue to avoid them both because they make the battle harder. But the "I wants" were there before we pulled into the parking lot. The mall just gave them names. The true source of the "I wants" is in our hearts. I am not so different from my four year old. Give me 20 bucks and send me into the Container Store or Barnes and Noble, and I will come out with a purchase. My heart is wanting also. All of our hearts want. The source of these wants runs deep. It runs all the way back to that Garden where Eve and then Adam choose to eat that apple that they were told not to eat. They wanted it. And we have all been wanting since. The only cure for the empty place in our hearts came to earth, born as a baby, living the perfect life and died so that we can be whole and complete again. Only in Him will all of our wants be filled. Not temporarily filled until next year when we have new wants. But a forever filled of all the wants, both the ones that have names, and the ones that don't.

Remembering Grandma

Sorry I have been missing in action. My husband's grandfather passed away. This caused an unexpected trip to New York for the funeral. When we returned, there was one full week's worth of laundry to do. I typically only do one load per day. So a week's worth felt daunting. Then there was helping my 5th grader catch up on his homework. Reading the mail that arrived while we were gone. All of those things you would do when returning from a business trip or vacation away for a week. It is times like these when I am so happy we live the simple life. Schoolwork and laundry are not anything to fret over. And one week after returning we have caught up on everything.

But I have become side tracked before even beginning my reason for writing today. While I was in New York I was asked to look at some of my husband's late grandmother's jewelry. Being moderately minimalist, I don't wear a lot of jewelry. I wear my wedding/ engagement ring and earrings. Though I rarely change my earrings. I usually wear the same studs day in and day out, only changing them for special occasions. All of my jewelry fits into a tiny jewelry box. This is one of the things that frustrates my husband about me. He says it isn't any fun buying me nice things because I don't love things. So buying a ring or necklace for our anniversary will only work if there is some sort of sentimental purpose behind it, such as my necklace with my kids' birthstones.

Women each have a very unique style of their own. It is rare that women would choose the same clothes, the same shoes, the same jewelry. Stores know this and offer a great variety. And as I looked through her jewelry, I couldn't help but think that, while it was pretty, most of it was not my style. She loved birds, and had a bird necklace, so I took that because it reminded me of her. There were several pairs of pearl earrings, so I also took one of those. And oddly, she had very small fingers like I do, size 4. So I took a few rings. My husband's aunt was looking through it all with me and commented on the bag. She said she would never store her jewelry that way. I smiled, because I would. How perfect! Here I had been looking at all of her jewelry when the perfect keepsake to remember her was the jewelry bag itself. I love it. It has her initials monogrammed on it. Whenever I touch it I think about how she would have held it in her hands as she got ready to go out. It is sentimental, but also so practical, which I love.

We strive to be minimalists. We don't strive to be nothingists. I feel at peace about choosing a material thing to remember someone by. But that thing doesn't have to be a knick knack that needs dusted. It doesn't have to be an entire bookcase of things that each have sentimental value. The truth is that most of our memories live in our hearts. A picture or material thing may bring that memory back to the surface. But it doesn't help you hear their laugh or feel their soft skin. Those memories live on in our hearts. So I don't feel guilty about not taking a lot of material things. It doesn't mean I didn't love that person. It doesn't mean that their stuff wasn't bringing joy and beauty to their lives. It means that we know what brings joy and beauty to our lives and those are the only things we are surrounding ourselves with. I am already enjoying her jewelry bag.

How have you remembered the special people in your life? Do you have something that every time you look at it brings back sweet memories of a loved one?

September Challenge: The Minimalist Game Day 1

Every September, for the last 3 years, I have played the minimalist game. http://www.theminimalists.com/game/ The game was invented by The Minimalists, Joshua Fields Millburn and Ryan Nicodemus. On day 1, you get rid of one thing. Day 2, you get rid of two things. Day 3..... you guessed it. You get rid of three things. Some people do categories. They would count three pairs of socks as one thing. Some people do objects and they count three pairs of socks as three things. The first year I did it, I did categories. It cleaned out my home. By the time I was finished, I actually felt like a minimalist. Granted, I have parted ways with even more stuff since then. But even at one item instead of one category, you will get rid of over 400 things!! That is a life changing experience! Making room for what really matters in life.

I challenge you to come along with me. Now is the perfect time. Forget any excuses you are making. If you don't do it now, the perfect time will never come along. Don't look at it and say, but I could never get rid of 400 things in the next month. Just get rid of one thing today. You can do that! And at the end of September we will have clean homes, ready to go into the holidays. Most of us receive gifts during the holidays, and if we don't make room in advance, we will become overwhelmed. So come along with me. What will you get rid of today?

One kid's meal toy gone.

About That Box....

This weekend a new friend was discussing moving. She moved to our area 2 months ago. She has yet to unpack all of the boxes. I was reminiscing my last two moves. When I moved into my house 14 years ago, I had so much stuff. I can't really even define how long it took to unpack. It was a very gradual process. I remember going out to the garage one year after moving and thinking I had better open the last few boxes so that unpacking wouldn't take longer than a year. I can't even fathom that kind of thinking now. I had boxes with stuff in them for a year. I clearly didn't need whatever was in them. I don't remember what was in them.

Then 4 years ago I found out I would be moving again. This time I was moving from an 1850 sq. ft. house into a 1250 sq. ft. apartment. I knew it couldn't all fit. I was moving from a house with 24 kitchen cabinets to an apartment with 14 kitchen cabinets. So I began to give half my stuff away. I had dishes that I used in the winter and dishes I used in the summer. (Yes, I know. I started off with a crazy amount of stuff.) As I got rid of my stuff life became so much easier. I got rid of dishes I didn't use. I got rid of movies that I hadn't seen in 10 years. I got rid of college text books that were no longer relevant to our fields of study. I got rid of the notes that went along with those text books. I got rid of clothes that didn't fit. I got rid of books that I had no desire to read again. The list goes on and on. This time when I moved, it took 2 guys 4 hours to pack our home into boxes. And it took me one week to unpack all of those boxes and put away everything in our apartment. The point is not to boast in how fast I got it done, but to show the contrast. My first move took a year my second move took a week. That is a picture of how minimizing simplifies life.

I'm going to venture a guess that whatever is in the boxes that my friend hasn't yet unpacked, isn't needed. It probably isn't even loved or helpful. Or it would already be unpacked. About that box... Do you have a box like that? Do you have more than one box like that? Boxes left over from your last move? Perhaps you don't even know what is in it? I challenge you. I challenge you to get rid of that box, without even opening it to see what is in it. I know you are thinking, what if there is something important in there? There isn't. If there were, you would at least remember it, and probably would have already torn it open looking for it. If you refuse to get rid of that box without looking inside, I challenge you to take care of it in September. If by September 30th you have not felt the urgency to look into it, will you get rid of it on September 30th? You will feel so much better knowing you have finally finished your move.

Week End Observations

My clothes dryer died on Monday. I tried to fix it myself, because I am stubborn like that. I only succeeded in shocking myself. I guess I should have unplugged it first. Lesson Learned, and not trying that again. This meant I had no clothes dryer from Monday until Saturday when the moderately minimalist husband will help me choose and purchase a new dryer. Mostly, it was totally fine. Since we are minimalists, I keep up on the laundry so that people always have something to wear, in spite of having fewer clothes than the average family. So when the dryer died, no big deal. There were no dirty clothes. Score one for minimalism!

Transparency and honesty are super important to me. So I am going to tell you, having no dryer was nerve wracking. The moderately minimalist husband has 4 button down shirts and a few polo shirts. His dress code at work is a button down shirt and tie Monday- Friday. He was wearing one of the shirts when the dryer died. This meant if he spilled something at breakfast on any of the shirts, I would need to go to the laundry mat or the dry cleaners. He did not. Score one for the moderately minimalist husband! The moderately minimalist children do not have very many pajamas. And they got them dirty. This meant I had to do some washing and line dry a few things. Their PJs weren't as soft as usual, but nobody was any worse for the wear.

My other observation from this week reminded me why I live this life. This week was bumpy. The dryer died, I received news about a family member that was hard to hear and needs to be dealt with, my email was hacked, and I think still not working properly as I have not received an email since it happened. By Friday, I just wanted comfort. So I decided I wasn't going to do anything I didn't want to on Friday. Take the day off. I already take Sunday off, so I know this is possible. Though there are only so many days you can take off in a week and have the home still function well. Friday I decided no laundry (of course), no cleaning, no errands. I ate a meal out, baked cookies with the kids, read stories to my four year old. And my home around me waited. There weren't piles needing dealt with. There weren't tasks left undone. My four year old drifted off to sleep as I read to him and rocked him. And as his eyes closed and that content little smile appeared on his face, all was well.