Remembering Grandma

Sorry I have been missing in action. My husband's grandfather passed away. This caused an unexpected trip to New York for the funeral. When we returned, there was one full week's worth of laundry to do. I typically only do one load per day. So a week's worth felt daunting. Then there was helping my 5th grader catch up on his homework. Reading the mail that arrived while we were gone. All of those things you would do when returning from a business trip or vacation away for a week. It is times like these when I am so happy we live the simple life. Schoolwork and laundry are not anything to fret over. And one week after returning we have caught up on everything.

But I have become side tracked before even beginning my reason for writing today. While I was in New York I was asked to look at some of my husband's late grandmother's jewelry. Being moderately minimalist, I don't wear a lot of jewelry. I wear my wedding/ engagement ring and earrings. Though I rarely change my earrings. I usually wear the same studs day in and day out, only changing them for special occasions. All of my jewelry fits into a tiny jewelry box. This is one of the things that frustrates my husband about me. He says it isn't any fun buying me nice things because I don't love things. So buying a ring or necklace for our anniversary will only work if there is some sort of sentimental purpose behind it, such as my necklace with my kids' birthstones.

Women each have a very unique style of their own. It is rare that women would choose the same clothes, the same shoes, the same jewelry. Stores know this and offer a great variety. And as I looked through her jewelry, I couldn't help but think that, while it was pretty, most of it was not my style. She loved birds, and had a bird necklace, so I took that because it reminded me of her. There were several pairs of pearl earrings, so I also took one of those. And oddly, she had very small fingers like I do, size 4. So I took a few rings. My husband's aunt was looking through it all with me and commented on the bag. She said she would never store her jewelry that way. I smiled, because I would. How perfect! Here I had been looking at all of her jewelry when the perfect keepsake to remember her was the jewelry bag itself. I love it. It has her initials monogrammed on it. Whenever I touch it I think about how she would have held it in her hands as she got ready to go out. It is sentimental, but also so practical, which I love.

We strive to be minimalists. We don't strive to be nothingists. I feel at peace about choosing a material thing to remember someone by. But that thing doesn't have to be a knick knack that needs dusted. It doesn't have to be an entire bookcase of things that each have sentimental value. The truth is that most of our memories live in our hearts. A picture or material thing may bring that memory back to the surface. But it doesn't help you hear their laugh or feel their soft skin. Those memories live on in our hearts. So I don't feel guilty about not taking a lot of material things. It doesn't mean I didn't love that person. It doesn't mean that their stuff wasn't bringing joy and beauty to their lives. It means that we know what brings joy and beauty to our lives and those are the only things we are surrounding ourselves with. I am already enjoying her jewelry bag.

How have you remembered the special people in your life? Do you have something that every time you look at it brings back sweet memories of a loved one?

September Challenge: The Minimalist Game Day 1

Every September, for the last 3 years, I have played the minimalist game. http://www.theminimalists.com/game/ The game was invented by The Minimalists, Joshua Fields Millburn and Ryan Nicodemus. On day 1, you get rid of one thing. Day 2, you get rid of two things. Day 3..... you guessed it. You get rid of three things. Some people do categories. They would count three pairs of socks as one thing. Some people do objects and they count three pairs of socks as three things. The first year I did it, I did categories. It cleaned out my home. By the time I was finished, I actually felt like a minimalist. Granted, I have parted ways with even more stuff since then. But even at one item instead of one category, you will get rid of over 400 things!! That is a life changing experience! Making room for what really matters in life.

I challenge you to come along with me. Now is the perfect time. Forget any excuses you are making. If you don't do it now, the perfect time will never come along. Don't look at it and say, but I could never get rid of 400 things in the next month. Just get rid of one thing today. You can do that! And at the end of September we will have clean homes, ready to go into the holidays. Most of us receive gifts during the holidays, and if we don't make room in advance, we will become overwhelmed. So come along with me. What will you get rid of today?

One kid's meal toy gone.

About That Box....

This weekend a new friend was discussing moving. She moved to our area 2 months ago. She has yet to unpack all of the boxes. I was reminiscing my last two moves. When I moved into my house 14 years ago, I had so much stuff. I can't really even define how long it took to unpack. It was a very gradual process. I remember going out to the garage one year after moving and thinking I had better open the last few boxes so that unpacking wouldn't take longer than a year. I can't even fathom that kind of thinking now. I had boxes with stuff in them for a year. I clearly didn't need whatever was in them. I don't remember what was in them.

Then 4 years ago I found out I would be moving again. This time I was moving from an 1850 sq. ft. house into a 1250 sq. ft. apartment. I knew it couldn't all fit. I was moving from a house with 24 kitchen cabinets to an apartment with 14 kitchen cabinets. So I began to give half my stuff away. I had dishes that I used in the winter and dishes I used in the summer. (Yes, I know. I started off with a crazy amount of stuff.) As I got rid of my stuff life became so much easier. I got rid of dishes I didn't use. I got rid of movies that I hadn't seen in 10 years. I got rid of college text books that were no longer relevant to our fields of study. I got rid of the notes that went along with those text books. I got rid of clothes that didn't fit. I got rid of books that I had no desire to read again. The list goes on and on. This time when I moved, it took 2 guys 4 hours to pack our home into boxes. And it took me one week to unpack all of those boxes and put away everything in our apartment. The point is not to boast in how fast I got it done, but to show the contrast. My first move took a year my second move took a week. That is a picture of how minimizing simplifies life.

I'm going to venture a guess that whatever is in the boxes that my friend hasn't yet unpacked, isn't needed. It probably isn't even loved or helpful. Or it would already be unpacked. About that box... Do you have a box like that? Do you have more than one box like that? Boxes left over from your last move? Perhaps you don't even know what is in it? I challenge you. I challenge you to get rid of that box, without even opening it to see what is in it. I know you are thinking, what if there is something important in there? There isn't. If there were, you would at least remember it, and probably would have already torn it open looking for it. If you refuse to get rid of that box without looking inside, I challenge you to take care of it in September. If by September 30th you have not felt the urgency to look into it, will you get rid of it on September 30th? You will feel so much better knowing you have finally finished your move.

Week End Observations

My clothes dryer died on Monday. I tried to fix it myself, because I am stubborn like that. I only succeeded in shocking myself. I guess I should have unplugged it first. Lesson Learned, and not trying that again. This meant I had no clothes dryer from Monday until Saturday when the moderately minimalist husband will help me choose and purchase a new dryer. Mostly, it was totally fine. Since we are minimalists, I keep up on the laundry so that people always have something to wear, in spite of having fewer clothes than the average family. So when the dryer died, no big deal. There were no dirty clothes. Score one for minimalism!

Transparency and honesty are super important to me. So I am going to tell you, having no dryer was nerve wracking. The moderately minimalist husband has 4 button down shirts and a few polo shirts. His dress code at work is a button down shirt and tie Monday- Friday. He was wearing one of the shirts when the dryer died. This meant if he spilled something at breakfast on any of the shirts, I would need to go to the laundry mat or the dry cleaners. He did not. Score one for the moderately minimalist husband! The moderately minimalist children do not have very many pajamas. And they got them dirty. This meant I had to do some washing and line dry a few things. Their PJs weren't as soft as usual, but nobody was any worse for the wear.

My other observation from this week reminded me why I live this life. This week was bumpy. The dryer died, I received news about a family member that was hard to hear and needs to be dealt with, my email was hacked, and I think still not working properly as I have not received an email since it happened. By Friday, I just wanted comfort. So I decided I wasn't going to do anything I didn't want to on Friday. Take the day off. I already take Sunday off, so I know this is possible. Though there are only so many days you can take off in a week and have the home still function well. Friday I decided no laundry (of course), no cleaning, no errands. I ate a meal out, baked cookies with the kids, read stories to my four year old. And my home around me waited. There weren't piles needing dealt with. There weren't tasks left undone. My four year old drifted off to sleep as I read to him and rocked him. And as his eyes closed and that content little smile appeared on his face, all was well.

Get Rid of the Weeds

We're like a gardener with a hose and our attention is water - we can water flowers or we can water weeds. -Josh Radnor

I often find lessons from nature that apply to everyday life. A few weeks ago I spent a few weeks at my elderly mother's house. She needed a few jobs done in her yard. She had some little trees sprouting up where they shouldn't be. And her garden was completely overcome by weeds and quickly growing out of control. This is the garden my parents had when I was a little girl. My father passed away years ago and my mother has given up on growing anything in this garden. Her hope at this point is to keep the weeds from overtaking her yard. As I took the tools to the weeds and began chopping things down, I discovered 3 pink flowers in the middle of it all. I couldn't even see them when I had started. All you could see were the unwanted weeds everywhere. But there they were, pretty, strong and growing in the midst of it all.

Those pink flowers remind me of the clutter in our homes. Many of us have a candle holder, or photo frame or maybe a small vase that makes us smile when we see it. Perhaps it sits on the kitchen counter or on a table near the front door. When we allow the unwanted stuff to overcome, that object no longer brings us joy from its beauty. If it is in the kitchen it may be overcome by some dishes, kitchen towels, children's artwork that they brought us while we were cooking, caddies filled with utensils, appliances, the knife block, the list goes on and on. If the object resides by the front door, it may be covered by mail, the newspaper, backpacks, purses, gloves, keys, library books, again the list goes on and on. It is only when we declutter the areas in our home of the unwanted things (weeds) that we begin to see and enjoy the beauty in what is left around us. Being minimalist doesn't mean I don't find beauty in objects. Being a minimalist means I only keep objects that are useful or have beauty.

Those pink flowers also remind me of the clutter in my schedule. I do so many things each day that have nothing to do with the priorities in my life. Whether it be clicking articles while looking up info on the internet, social media, 15 minutes of that cooking show, 20 minutes of the weather channel. Too many unwanted items in our schedule prevent us from seeing the beauty in our lives. Watching how an older brother helps a younger brother with homework, seeing an older sister share her ice cream, having time to listen to that knock- knock joke, which brings the privilege of hearing all that laughter, having the time to read the Bible passage for today. At the end of the day I can say I didn't have enough time for the things I wanted to do or I can declutter my day from the weeds that prevent me from living the life I want to live.

Look around your home and schedule this week. See if you find any weeds. Then set aside some time to spend getting rid of the weeds, so you can enjoy the flowers all the more.

Before My Moderately Minimalist Life

Recently contemplating life before minimalism, and so thankful I made a change.

Before: I spent a very long time to cook and clean up from dinner. I had 3 sets of "everyday" dishes, "everyday" glasses, etc. they were kept in different cabinets in different parts of the kitchen. I had the mixing bowl for pancakes, the bowl for popcorn, the bowl I made mashed potatoes in, if it took a bowl, I had a special bowl for each task. I was moving back and forth across my kitchen managing everything.

After: All of my dishes and glasses fit in one cabinet within reach of the dishwasher. I save so much time not walking back and forth retrieving mixing bowls and putting away dishes.

Before: I lost things daily. And they were not readily found or seen. There was so much stuff around that it was very hard to "see" things. To find my keys meant picking things up, checking under them. Looking behind home décor and stuff that had no home.

After: I lose things daily. Don't judge! My brain is crazy. But now I find things in less than 5 minutes. There is nothing for my keys to hide under or behind.

Related before: I couldn't find a notebook. I wasn't sure if I had one. Nothing had a home, or place to put it. I went and bought another one.

Related after: I have 4 notebooks on hand, and I know exactly where they are. This saves me both time and money.

Before: I spent 2 weekends/ year cleaning out the garage.

After: I have no garage, attic or basement. And no need for one.

Before: Husband complained that the toys were taking over our home.

After: Happy husband. Every toy in our home can be picked up in 5 minutes and 20 seconds.

Before: I said yes to everyone. If you needed help, I was there. I was losing sleep keeping up with my life, and everyone's life around me.

After: I help those who truly need help. Some people are drowning and it is their own making. Painful, but true. If I have the time and you really need help, I still take a meal or watch children. Now I have the time to do that.

Before: I needed one day to get ready for someone coming over.

After: I need 10 minutes to get ready for someone coming over.

Bottom Line:

Before: I was spending a lot of time, energy and money to maintain this stuff that was supposed to make my life happier.

After: I have a lot less stuff and more time to spend with my family and community, which makes me happier.

What can you do in 15 minutes?

I am still reading Crystal Paine. I have reached her section on accomplishing goals. Initially I was doubtful of her advice. She says to tackle your goals with 15 minutes/ day. I chuckled. 15 minutes isn't long. How will that accomplish my goals? I will never get there, with such a small allotment of time. Then she began to add it up for me. 15 minutes/ day is 105 minutes or 1 hour 35 minutes/ week. I can get something done in 1 hour 35 minutes. 15 minutes/ day is 450 minutes or 7 hours 30 minutes/ month. I can get something done in 7 hours and 30 minutes. 15 minutes/ day is 5460 minutes or 91 hours/ year. I can accomplish my current goal in 91 hours.

I have been looking at things all wrong. I have been looking for an hour and a half to set aside each week. But I was looking for the 90 minutes consecutively. And with 2 small children, a husband and home to care for, friends and extended family to nurture and a church community to be involved in, I may never have 90 minutes consecutively for the next year. But I have 15 minutes/ day. It is precisely because it is such a small amount of time to commit to, that I believe it may work.

My goal is to show thousands of people how minimalism can change their life for the better. My goal is for people to see that what we do matters much more than what we own. In 15 minutes/ day I can:

Write on a minimalist message board.
Take photos for this blog.
Write down ideas for this blog.
Give a friend advice on how to declutter her kitchen.
Go through a cabinet or drawer and give away what I am not using.

Crystal Paine is a genius. And look at her with her blog and books, she really is. This plan helped her accomplish her goals and I am praying it will help me accomplish mine as well.

What is your goal? What can you accomplish in 15 minutes/ day that will move you closer to that goal?