Nonconforming Luggage

Every summer my kids and I travel 500 miles to visit my mom for two weeks. It is one of the best parts of the summer. My mom and I share the cooking. We share the dinner clean up. She helps me with my children. My sister, a children's librarian, reads them their bedtime story. It is the kind of vacation that I come back feeling refreshed instead of feeling like I need a vacation from the vacation.

The one dilemma that I face every year is how to store the clothes while we are there. Since we don't take very many clothes, they all fit in one suitcase. However, I don't like living out of a suitcase while I am there. And I don't like stacking them in piles because they all fall over. One of my kids goes looking for a certain shirt and we end up with clothes everywhere. Then I started thinking, why am I taking a suitcase? Because that is what people use when they travel, right? Very little of my life conforms to the rest of the world. Why would my luggage? I started thinking, we just need a little dresser for while we are there. Something with 3 little drawers... I have something with three little drawers! Our art storage has three drawers. Instead of packing our clothes in a suitcase this year, I am packing our clothes into this little cart and taking it with us. I purchased a pop up hamper to use as a hamper, and it should all function just like at home.

This solution works because we are minimalists. I cannot imagine this working for some women. We only take 4 outfits for the 10 year old and I. We take 5 outfits for the 4 year old because 4 year olds get messy faster. I will be doing laundry every 4 days, on vacation. I am sure that idea of doing laundry on vacation disgusts some people. Personally, I feel like vacation is doing life in a different location. Laundry does not bother me. My mom is already helping with the cooking, cleaning and children. So this is a win. At least that is what I think now. I will update after we try it, to see if it works as well as I think it will.

The real lesson learned here is bigger than a luggage solution. The real lesson here has been reinforced with every step of my minimalist journey. Stop doing things the way everyone around me does. It may or may not work for them. That does not mean it will work for me. It may not even work all that well for them, they may be behaving like everyone around them. It is ok to be different. It is ok to search out new solutions. That is the best way to find what works for ourselves and our family.

Is It Better To Sell Or Donate?

Is it better to sell or donate? My usual response is going to be to answer a question with more questions. Everyone needs to examine our own situation. Let's look at some different venues for selling the items we declutter. And look at the strengths and weaknesses of each one.

Garage Sale- One of the most common ways people sell their unwanted possessions is through a garage sale. Some questions to ask when considering this option? Is there enough stuff to attract buyers? Do you have a free weekend to commit to this? Would a few hundred dollars be worth hours of work? Could you take the same number of hours and make more money at your place of employment?
Positives: Garage sales do not have to take hours of prep. You can set up tables and put up signs. All shirts $1. All pants $2. Books .50. The bulk of the time will be on the weekend when the sale happens. It will require your undivided attention for at least 8 hours each day. Once the garage sale is over, your work is done. There is no delivering, packing, or shipping.
Negatives: Low return for your money. Personally, I will not pay more than 10-25% of original price at a garage sale. This method requires the entire weekend.

Facebook/ Craigslist- The most recently popular means of getting rid of clutter has been through Facebook sale sites and craigslist. Some questions to ask when considering this option? Is this item of a high value, that I cannot return the money in another method? Is it too heavy to be shipped? Is it something that couldn't be sold at a children's consignment sale?
Positives: For someone who works long hours, this method could be done anytime of day. It does not require a weekend. It is the least time consuming. It takes 5 minutes to list it. If you meet someone nearby, you can drop it off in a few minutes also.
Negatives: I know many people that have been stood up. Meeting 2 to 3 people because the first 1 or 2 have canceled is not saving time. And you have to consider how much gas you are using making those 3 trips. I hate to even mention it, but I will never use this method because I see it as unsafe. Our local preschool teacher and her husband were killed at a craigslist transaction. They were selling their car and had their car stolen. If you do this form of sale, please do it in the parking lot of a police station.

Consignment Sale/ Resale Shop- This is my favorite method of getting rid of unwanted stuff. Some questions to ask yourself when considering this option? Are you selling children's things? I appreciate this form of sale because at this point in my life, most of what I am getting rid of is stuff my kids are outgrowing. Are the items in great condition? Is it the right season to sell it?
Positives: A lot of money can be made at a consignment sale. Many times, if the item is popular, such as Legos, you can get 50% of original purchase price. That is far more than can be made at a garage sale. Someone else is selling it, so it doesn't require an entire weekend off. It requires time to input the items, but that can be worked on any time of day or night.
Negatives: Consignment sale people are picky. Even if there are no stains, if it looks worn, they won't take it. If it is the wrong season, they won't take it. So if you want to sell your kids' outdoor toys at the end of the summer, you have to store them somewhere during the winter. Some people think it takes too long to enter all of the data into the computer. I, personally, don't think it takes that long. You do have to make sure you know all of their rules. Make sure the hanger is facing the correct way, the clothes are pinned on correctly and the tags are attached properly. I usually take one Saturday afternoon to do it all. My husband takes the kiddos for a trip and I get it all done in about 6 hours.

eBay- eBay was once a favorite pick for people selling unwanted stuff. It's popularity isn't as high as it was 10 years ago. Some questions to ask when considering this option? Is this a rare item? Is this a collector's piece? How much would shipping cost? Would someone pay that much to have it shipped?
Positives: Putting something up for sale on eBay does not require much time. It can be done at any time day or night. If it is a rare item, it may be the best method for regaining your money. Millions of people shop on eBay. It is now an international market. A rare baseball card may not attract the right customer at a garage sale. But with eBay someone looking for your rare baseball card can find that card, and you to sell it to them.
Negatives: The market on eBay is oversaturated. If you go to eBay right now and type in Mickey Mouse clock, over 1,000 items come up. The supply/ demand rule tells us that when there is that much supply, and little demand, the price of the item goes down. Additionally, you have to include shipping in the price. Included with the shipping I would require proof of delivery because I have experience with more than one customer saying they didn't receive what I shipped. You also have to buy shipping materials. And if it is breakable and expensive, shipping insurance.

One last consideration. Our time is worth money. Our peace of mind is worth money. Most people are on this minimalist journey because they want a simpler, easier life with more free time. Holding onto this stuff for months waiting for the right buyer, or the right season for a garage sale, is that much more time and freedom this stuff is being allowed to take from you. When we donate our stuff, it is an act of compassion. Whether we give it to someone for free or we give it to an organization that will sell it for the fraction of the original price, we have helped someone in our community. Is it better to sell or donate? Only you know the answer to that question.

The Gift of Presence

The most precious gift we can offer others is our presence. When mindfulness embraces those we love, they will bloom like flowers. -Thich Nhat Hanh

Ten year old boys are tricky. I am still in shock that I have one already. He wants me nearby, but he doesn't want me or anyone else to know it. He wants me to tuck him in bed, but I can't hug him at the bus stop anymore. He needs his mama. But he also needs his mama to be present in a way that acknowledges he is getting older.

This week we created a squad of superheroes and villains. He loves to make up stories. Usually those stories are about the plastic superheroes for which he has so much affection. It allows him some creativity, but it restricts him. It is like coloring a picture instead of drawing his own. He has to stay in someone else's lines. He is using someone else's ideas, names and nemesis. I wanted to give him a blank slate, while taking advantage of spending some quality time together doing what he loves.

This project is easy, inexpensive, and doesn't take long. I bought a package of 8 wooden pegs at Hobby Lobby for 4 dollars. The only other supply needed is acrylic paint and brushes. We painted on capes, masks, and Luke chose an element to put on each superheroes chest. He has named them the Elemental Eight. There are heroes and villains among them. They all have powers and names that he thought of himself. All while spending time with his mama. Diving into the world of a ten year old boy for an afternoon was as much a gift to me and Luke as the new superheroes. One afternoon and hopefully memories that will last us both a lifetime.

No One Has Ever Become Poor by Giving. -Anne Frank

All the believers were one in heart and mind. No one claimed that any of their possessions was their own, but they shared everything they had. Acts 4:32

Could you imagine if we shared everything? No I am not a communist. I don't mean taking things from people and giving them to other people. I mean people wanting, choosing, desiring to share possessions, time, resources. People in the early church lived in this manner. They knew everything comes from God, we are mere stewards. In essence, a steward is a manager. When we die, we can't take our possessions, time or resources with us. They are on loan to us while we walk the earth.

What does it look like to be a good steward with possessions? Suppose you make a dress for your daughter, what do you do with the leftover fabric? Suppose you read a book, what do you do with it when you are finished? Can I make a suggestion? Pass it on. Give the fabric to someone who makes quilts. Don't know someone who makes quilts? Take it to Goodwill where someone can find it for half the price they would pay in the store. Give the book to a neighbor or a friend. Why don't we do that? The most common answer people give me, "I paid for it." I recognize that someone has to make the original purchase, but holding onto it doesn't get our money back. Passing it on actually makes the purchase more worthwhile. Can you imagine what would happen if we all shared the things we aren't using? We teach our children to share. I think it is time to start modeling for them what that looks like as we grow older.

What does it look like to be a good steward with our time? Since getting rid of half my possessions, I have more time. Less time buying, cleaning, sorting and organizing. More time to do what I want to do. I could spend it on social media, and I do. I could spend it on running for health reasons, and I do. But I can also spend some of my time in service to others. Have a friend who just had a baby and needs a meal? Have a friend who is sick and needs some groceries? Have a friend who works and their babysitter fell through? Time can be as much a gift as possessions. I have regretted afternoons spent on the computer. Rarely have I regretted serving a friend or family member.

Will you try it this week? Look for one thing in your home to give to a friend or family member who could use it. And consider spending one hour this week in service to someone in your community. Let's share everything we have.

Corrosive Play

I am reading Simplicity Parenting by Kim John Payne. This book is convicting that my children's world is not what I had hoped it would be. Payne discusses the dreams that we had before our children are born. He mentions pink paper handmade Valentines. Is their environment a reflection of that dream?

Specifically, I am on the chapter about environment. Even more specifically, those who know me, know toys are the hardest area for me to be minimal. I started this minimalist journey after most of these toys had been purchased. Payne talks about 2 things I wish I could change. They are linked to each other. One is to not have "corrosive toys". He isn't talking about squirt guns. He is talking about the guns and bombs that really look like guns and bombs. While, we don't have those, we have The Hulk. When my 4 year old plays with The Hulk, you know it is corrosive play. It isn't creative play. It is play that smashes everything. The second idea Payne discusses is having an ad free perimeter around your child. Fail #2. My children are obsessed with super heroes. They have just about every superhero ever heard of... 25 of them anyway. All plastic, Imaginext to be exact.

In an attempt this week to encourage creative productive play, we bought these construction toys. I filled a box of beans and handed the 4 year old the construction vehicles. He spent an hour pushing beans around, hiding toys in the beans, pouring the beans from one hand to the other. This is the kind of play I dreamed about before I had my children.... Then he went and found his super heroes and had an epic battle in the beans, which I am mostly ok with. Life is about balance. I would never take his superheroes from him. On the other hand, it was nice to see him play with something else for an hour. We took a step in the right direction.