The Effects of the Mall on my Four Year Old

Christmas is coming. The "I wants" show up every year at this time. I may have mentioned before what my kids sound like when they have a case of the "I wants". Say "I want" 10 times fast. "I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want". The Moderately Minimalist 4 year old has a serious case of the "I wants". He asked me how many gifts he would be opening on Christmas. I said 4. He started to cry. He says he wants 10 gifts. He has only asked me for 3 things. He wants Batman legos, Spiderman legos, and Spiderman paint. I asked him, what 10 things do you want? He named the same 3 things. I pointed out that he only has 3 things on his list. He couldn't name anything else. His heart just wants. But he has no idea what it wants.

Last night the Moderately Minimalist Family went to the mall. We went to see the mall decorations and eat an Auntie Anne's pretzel. Nintendo was camped out in the center of the mall demonstrating video games. The Moderately Minimalist 10 year old had a blast trying them out. The Moderately Minimalist 4 year old cried that we didn't get to take them home. We browsed through the Disney store on the way out. The kids got to watch part of a movie in there while coloring a picture. The 4 year old asked, "Can I buy a toy?" Did you catch that phrase? "A toy". But he didn't say "that Toy Story toy" or that "Inside Out toy". Any toy will do. The "I wants" were there again. Wanting, but not even knowing what he wanted.

On the way home he began to cry again. He said he wanted to open 10 presents on Christmas. I again asked him what he specifically wanted, to show him that there were only 3 things on his list. But this time, fresh from the mall, his list was much longer. He named everything he had just seen. My heart fell. The mall had given his "I wants" names. Now he had named all ten of them. Now that they have names, they will be harder to do battle against.

The problem is not the mall. Neither is the problem TV. We will continue to avoid them both because they make the battle harder. But the "I wants" were there before we pulled into the parking lot. The mall just gave them names. The true source of the "I wants" is in our hearts. I am not so different from my four year old. Give me 20 bucks and send me into the Container Store or Barnes and Noble, and I will come out with a purchase. My heart is wanting also. All of our hearts want. The source of these wants runs deep. It runs all the way back to that Garden where Eve and then Adam choose to eat that apple that they were told not to eat. They wanted it. And we have all been wanting since. The only cure for the empty place in our hearts came to earth, born as a baby, living the perfect life and died so that we can be whole and complete again. Only in Him will all of our wants be filled. Not temporarily filled until next year when we have new wants. But a forever filled of all the wants, both the ones that have names, and the ones that don't.

Remembering Grandma

Sorry I have been missing in action. My husband's grandfather passed away. This caused an unexpected trip to New York for the funeral. When we returned, there was one full week's worth of laundry to do. I typically only do one load per day. So a week's worth felt daunting. Then there was helping my 5th grader catch up on his homework. Reading the mail that arrived while we were gone. All of those things you would do when returning from a business trip or vacation away for a week. It is times like these when I am so happy we live the simple life. Schoolwork and laundry are not anything to fret over. And one week after returning we have caught up on everything.

But I have become side tracked before even beginning my reason for writing today. While I was in New York I was asked to look at some of my husband's late grandmother's jewelry. Being moderately minimalist, I don't wear a lot of jewelry. I wear my wedding/ engagement ring and earrings. Though I rarely change my earrings. I usually wear the same studs day in and day out, only changing them for special occasions. All of my jewelry fits into a tiny jewelry box. This is one of the things that frustrates my husband about me. He says it isn't any fun buying me nice things because I don't love things. So buying a ring or necklace for our anniversary will only work if there is some sort of sentimental purpose behind it, such as my necklace with my kids' birthstones.

Women each have a very unique style of their own. It is rare that women would choose the same clothes, the same shoes, the same jewelry. Stores know this and offer a great variety. And as I looked through her jewelry, I couldn't help but think that, while it was pretty, most of it was not my style. She loved birds, and had a bird necklace, so I took that because it reminded me of her. There were several pairs of pearl earrings, so I also took one of those. And oddly, she had very small fingers like I do, size 4. So I took a few rings. My husband's aunt was looking through it all with me and commented on the bag. She said she would never store her jewelry that way. I smiled, because I would. How perfect! Here I had been looking at all of her jewelry when the perfect keepsake to remember her was the jewelry bag itself. I love it. It has her initials monogrammed on it. Whenever I touch it I think about how she would have held it in her hands as she got ready to go out. It is sentimental, but also so practical, which I love.

We strive to be minimalists. We don't strive to be nothingists. I feel at peace about choosing a material thing to remember someone by. But that thing doesn't have to be a knick knack that needs dusted. It doesn't have to be an entire bookcase of things that each have sentimental value. The truth is that most of our memories live in our hearts. A picture or material thing may bring that memory back to the surface. But it doesn't help you hear their laugh or feel their soft skin. Those memories live on in our hearts. So I don't feel guilty about not taking a lot of material things. It doesn't mean I didn't love that person. It doesn't mean that their stuff wasn't bringing joy and beauty to their lives. It means that we know what brings joy and beauty to our lives and those are the only things we are surrounding ourselves with. I am already enjoying her jewelry bag.

How have you remembered the special people in your life? Do you have something that every time you look at it brings back sweet memories of a loved one?

September Challenge: The Minimalist Game Day 1

Every September, for the last 3 years, I have played the minimalist game. http://www.theminimalists.com/game/ The game was invented by The Minimalists, Joshua Fields Millburn and Ryan Nicodemus. On day 1, you get rid of one thing. Day 2, you get rid of two things. Day 3..... you guessed it. You get rid of three things. Some people do categories. They would count three pairs of socks as one thing. Some people do objects and they count three pairs of socks as three things. The first year I did it, I did categories. It cleaned out my home. By the time I was finished, I actually felt like a minimalist. Granted, I have parted ways with even more stuff since then. But even at one item instead of one category, you will get rid of over 400 things!! That is a life changing experience! Making room for what really matters in life.

I challenge you to come along with me. Now is the perfect time. Forget any excuses you are making. If you don't do it now, the perfect time will never come along. Don't look at it and say, but I could never get rid of 400 things in the next month. Just get rid of one thing today. You can do that! And at the end of September we will have clean homes, ready to go into the holidays. Most of us receive gifts during the holidays, and if we don't make room in advance, we will become overwhelmed. So come along with me. What will you get rid of today?

One kid's meal toy gone.

About That Box....

This weekend a new friend was discussing moving. She moved to our area 2 months ago. She has yet to unpack all of the boxes. I was reminiscing my last two moves. When I moved into my house 14 years ago, I had so much stuff. I can't really even define how long it took to unpack. It was a very gradual process. I remember going out to the garage one year after moving and thinking I had better open the last few boxes so that unpacking wouldn't take longer than a year. I can't even fathom that kind of thinking now. I had boxes with stuff in them for a year. I clearly didn't need whatever was in them. I don't remember what was in them.

Then 4 years ago I found out I would be moving again. This time I was moving from an 1850 sq. ft. house into a 1250 sq. ft. apartment. I knew it couldn't all fit. I was moving from a house with 24 kitchen cabinets to an apartment with 14 kitchen cabinets. So I began to give half my stuff away. I had dishes that I used in the winter and dishes I used in the summer. (Yes, I know. I started off with a crazy amount of stuff.) As I got rid of my stuff life became so much easier. I got rid of dishes I didn't use. I got rid of movies that I hadn't seen in 10 years. I got rid of college text books that were no longer relevant to our fields of study. I got rid of the notes that went along with those text books. I got rid of clothes that didn't fit. I got rid of books that I had no desire to read again. The list goes on and on. This time when I moved, it took 2 guys 4 hours to pack our home into boxes. And it took me one week to unpack all of those boxes and put away everything in our apartment. The point is not to boast in how fast I got it done, but to show the contrast. My first move took a year my second move took a week. That is a picture of how minimizing simplifies life.

I'm going to venture a guess that whatever is in the boxes that my friend hasn't yet unpacked, isn't needed. It probably isn't even loved or helpful. Or it would already be unpacked. About that box... Do you have a box like that? Do you have more than one box like that? Boxes left over from your last move? Perhaps you don't even know what is in it? I challenge you. I challenge you to get rid of that box, without even opening it to see what is in it. I know you are thinking, what if there is something important in there? There isn't. If there were, you would at least remember it, and probably would have already torn it open looking for it. If you refuse to get rid of that box without looking inside, I challenge you to take care of it in September. If by September 30th you have not felt the urgency to look into it, will you get rid of it on September 30th? You will feel so much better knowing you have finally finished your move.

Week End Observations

My clothes dryer died on Monday. I tried to fix it myself, because I am stubborn like that. I only succeeded in shocking myself. I guess I should have unplugged it first. Lesson Learned, and not trying that again. This meant I had no clothes dryer from Monday until Saturday when the moderately minimalist husband will help me choose and purchase a new dryer. Mostly, it was totally fine. Since we are minimalists, I keep up on the laundry so that people always have something to wear, in spite of having fewer clothes than the average family. So when the dryer died, no big deal. There were no dirty clothes. Score one for minimalism!

Transparency and honesty are super important to me. So I am going to tell you, having no dryer was nerve wracking. The moderately minimalist husband has 4 button down shirts and a few polo shirts. His dress code at work is a button down shirt and tie Monday- Friday. He was wearing one of the shirts when the dryer died. This meant if he spilled something at breakfast on any of the shirts, I would need to go to the laundry mat or the dry cleaners. He did not. Score one for the moderately minimalist husband! The moderately minimalist children do not have very many pajamas. And they got them dirty. This meant I had to do some washing and line dry a few things. Their PJs weren't as soft as usual, but nobody was any worse for the wear.

My other observation from this week reminded me why I live this life. This week was bumpy. The dryer died, I received news about a family member that was hard to hear and needs to be dealt with, my email was hacked, and I think still not working properly as I have not received an email since it happened. By Friday, I just wanted comfort. So I decided I wasn't going to do anything I didn't want to on Friday. Take the day off. I already take Sunday off, so I know this is possible. Though there are only so many days you can take off in a week and have the home still function well. Friday I decided no laundry (of course), no cleaning, no errands. I ate a meal out, baked cookies with the kids, read stories to my four year old. And my home around me waited. There weren't piles needing dealt with. There weren't tasks left undone. My four year old drifted off to sleep as I read to him and rocked him. And as his eyes closed and that content little smile appeared on his face, all was well.

Get Rid of the Weeds

We're like a gardener with a hose and our attention is water - we can water flowers or we can water weeds. -Josh Radnor

I often find lessons from nature that apply to everyday life. A few weeks ago I spent a few weeks at my elderly mother's house. She needed a few jobs done in her yard. She had some little trees sprouting up where they shouldn't be. And her garden was completely overcome by weeds and quickly growing out of control. This is the garden my parents had when I was a little girl. My father passed away years ago and my mother has given up on growing anything in this garden. Her hope at this point is to keep the weeds from overtaking her yard. As I took the tools to the weeds and began chopping things down, I discovered 3 pink flowers in the middle of it all. I couldn't even see them when I had started. All you could see were the unwanted weeds everywhere. But there they were, pretty, strong and growing in the midst of it all.

Those pink flowers remind me of the clutter in our homes. Many of us have a candle holder, or photo frame or maybe a small vase that makes us smile when we see it. Perhaps it sits on the kitchen counter or on a table near the front door. When we allow the unwanted stuff to overcome, that object no longer brings us joy from its beauty. If it is in the kitchen it may be overcome by some dishes, kitchen towels, children's artwork that they brought us while we were cooking, caddies filled with utensils, appliances, the knife block, the list goes on and on. If the object resides by the front door, it may be covered by mail, the newspaper, backpacks, purses, gloves, keys, library books, again the list goes on and on. It is only when we declutter the areas in our home of the unwanted things (weeds) that we begin to see and enjoy the beauty in what is left around us. Being minimalist doesn't mean I don't find beauty in objects. Being a minimalist means I only keep objects that are useful or have beauty.

Those pink flowers also remind me of the clutter in my schedule. I do so many things each day that have nothing to do with the priorities in my life. Whether it be clicking articles while looking up info on the internet, social media, 15 minutes of that cooking show, 20 minutes of the weather channel. Too many unwanted items in our schedule prevent us from seeing the beauty in our lives. Watching how an older brother helps a younger brother with homework, seeing an older sister share her ice cream, having time to listen to that knock- knock joke, which brings the privilege of hearing all that laughter, having the time to read the Bible passage for today. At the end of the day I can say I didn't have enough time for the things I wanted to do or I can declutter my day from the weeds that prevent me from living the life I want to live.

Look around your home and schedule this week. See if you find any weeds. Then set aside some time to spend getting rid of the weeds, so you can enjoy the flowers all the more.

Before My Moderately Minimalist Life

Recently contemplating life before minimalism, and so thankful I made a change.

Before: I spent a very long time to cook and clean up from dinner. I had 3 sets of "everyday" dishes, "everyday" glasses, etc. they were kept in different cabinets in different parts of the kitchen. I had the mixing bowl for pancakes, the bowl for popcorn, the bowl I made mashed potatoes in, if it took a bowl, I had a special bowl for each task. I was moving back and forth across my kitchen managing everything.

After: All of my dishes and glasses fit in one cabinet within reach of the dishwasher. I save so much time not walking back and forth retrieving mixing bowls and putting away dishes.

Before: I lost things daily. And they were not readily found or seen. There was so much stuff around that it was very hard to "see" things. To find my keys meant picking things up, checking under them. Looking behind home décor and stuff that had no home.

After: I lose things daily. Don't judge! My brain is crazy. But now I find things in less than 5 minutes. There is nothing for my keys to hide under or behind.

Related before: I couldn't find a notebook. I wasn't sure if I had one. Nothing had a home, or place to put it. I went and bought another one.

Related after: I have 4 notebooks on hand, and I know exactly where they are. This saves me both time and money.

Before: I spent 2 weekends/ year cleaning out the garage.

After: I have no garage, attic or basement. And no need for one.

Before: Husband complained that the toys were taking over our home.

After: Happy husband. Every toy in our home can be picked up in 5 minutes and 20 seconds.

Before: I said yes to everyone. If you needed help, I was there. I was losing sleep keeping up with my life, and everyone's life around me.

After: I help those who truly need help. Some people are drowning and it is their own making. Painful, but true. If I have the time and you really need help, I still take a meal or watch children. Now I have the time to do that.

Before: I needed one day to get ready for someone coming over.

After: I need 10 minutes to get ready for someone coming over.

Bottom Line:

Before: I was spending a lot of time, energy and money to maintain this stuff that was supposed to make my life happier.

After: I have a lot less stuff and more time to spend with my family and community, which makes me happier.

What can you do in 15 minutes?

I am still reading Crystal Paine. I have reached her section on accomplishing goals. Initially I was doubtful of her advice. She says to tackle your goals with 15 minutes/ day. I chuckled. 15 minutes isn't long. How will that accomplish my goals? I will never get there, with such a small allotment of time. Then she began to add it up for me. 15 minutes/ day is 105 minutes or 1 hour 35 minutes/ week. I can get something done in 1 hour 35 minutes. 15 minutes/ day is 450 minutes or 7 hours 30 minutes/ month. I can get something done in 7 hours and 30 minutes. 15 minutes/ day is 5460 minutes or 91 hours/ year. I can accomplish my current goal in 91 hours.

I have been looking at things all wrong. I have been looking for an hour and a half to set aside each week. But I was looking for the 90 minutes consecutively. And with 2 small children, a husband and home to care for, friends and extended family to nurture and a church community to be involved in, I may never have 90 minutes consecutively for the next year. But I have 15 minutes/ day. It is precisely because it is such a small amount of time to commit to, that I believe it may work.

My goal is to show thousands of people how minimalism can change their life for the better. My goal is for people to see that what we do matters much more than what we own. In 15 minutes/ day I can:

Write on a minimalist message board.
Take photos for this blog.
Write down ideas for this blog.
Give a friend advice on how to declutter her kitchen.
Go through a cabinet or drawer and give away what I am not using.

Crystal Paine is a genius. And look at her with her blog and books, she really is. This plan helped her accomplish her goals and I am praying it will help me accomplish mine as well.

What is your goal? What can you accomplish in 15 minutes/ day that will move you closer to that goal?

Busyness Does Not Equal Productivity

I was reading a book by Crystal Paine. The topic being schedules. A minimalist schedule is important because it keeps my life simple. Simple is the reason I am minimalist to begin with. The question she was asking the reader to consider: Are the things I am spending my time on helping me to achieve my goals? She suggest writing down the first 5-6 priorities in my life. Then take a look at my schedule. Am I spending the bulk of my time on things which are priorities for me?

I thought this exercise would be much easier than it turned out to be. My first attempt looked like this:
1. Faith
2. Marriage
3. Being a Mama
4. Church
5. Blog/ Message Board/ Promoting Minimalism
6. Healthy Diet
Then I thought, being a mama is too broad. If I spent 3 hours with Luke and 0 with Drew, I would be dissatisfied. Both of my children are a priority. Though don't ask me what I would have done if I had 8 kids. And my church is really an outflow of my faith.
1. Faith/ Church
2. Marriage
3. Being a Mama Luke
4. Church Drew
5. Blog/ Message Board/ Promoting Minimalism
6. Healthy Diet
I compared my to do list with my priority list and saw another problem. I spend a chunk of time each day cleaning. Dishes, laundry, vacuuming, scrubbing toilets, it all needs done. I can't devote that much time to it and claim it isn't a priority. But she said to only list 6 priorities.
1. Faith/ Church
2. Marriage
3. Being a Mama Luke
4. Church Drew Cleaning
5. Blog/ Message Board/ Promoting Minimalism
6. Healthy Diet
I don't see where my running/ exercise fits into all of this. And there isn't anything else to combine or get rid of.

My take away lesson from this exercise is that the time we have each day is precious. I waste a ridiculous amount of it on things like Facebook, insignificant texting and some days, Netflix. My goal is to sleep 8 hours/ day. If I spend an hour grooming such as showering and brushing my teeth or washing my hands, that only leaves 15 hours. I spend more than 2 hours/ day preparing food or eating. That leaves 13 hours to complete 6 priorities. And we haven't yet added how much time I spend in my car or waiting at the bus stop. Every minute of every day I have a choice. How am I going to spend my time? Am I going to spend the next hour moving toward my goals or standing still? Knowing my priorities and goals has been my first step.

Nonconforming Luggage

Every summer my kids and I travel 500 miles to visit my mom for two weeks. It is one of the best parts of the summer. My mom and I share the cooking. We share the dinner clean up. She helps me with my children. My sister, a children's librarian, reads them their bedtime story. It is the kind of vacation that I come back feeling refreshed instead of feeling like I need a vacation from the vacation.

The one dilemma that I face every year is how to store the clothes while we are there. Since we don't take very many clothes, they all fit in one suitcase. However, I don't like living out of a suitcase while I am there. And I don't like stacking them in piles because they all fall over. One of my kids goes looking for a certain shirt and we end up with clothes everywhere. Then I started thinking, why am I taking a suitcase? Because that is what people use when they travel, right? Very little of my life conforms to the rest of the world. Why would my luggage? I started thinking, we just need a little dresser for while we are there. Something with 3 little drawers... I have something with three little drawers! Our art storage has three drawers. Instead of packing our clothes in a suitcase this year, I am packing our clothes into this little cart and taking it with us. I purchased a pop up hamper to use as a hamper, and it should all function just like at home.

This solution works because we are minimalists. I cannot imagine this working for some women. We only take 4 outfits for the 10 year old and I. We take 5 outfits for the 4 year old because 4 year olds get messy faster. I will be doing laundry every 4 days, on vacation. I am sure that idea of doing laundry on vacation disgusts some people. Personally, I feel like vacation is doing life in a different location. Laundry does not bother me. My mom is already helping with the cooking, cleaning and children. So this is a win. At least that is what I think now. I will update after we try it, to see if it works as well as I think it will.

The real lesson learned here is bigger than a luggage solution. The real lesson here has been reinforced with every step of my minimalist journey. Stop doing things the way everyone around me does. It may or may not work for them. That does not mean it will work for me. It may not even work all that well for them, they may be behaving like everyone around them. It is ok to be different. It is ok to search out new solutions. That is the best way to find what works for ourselves and our family.

Is It Better To Sell Or Donate?

Is it better to sell or donate? My usual response is going to be to answer a question with more questions. Everyone needs to examine our own situation. Let's look at some different venues for selling the items we declutter. And look at the strengths and weaknesses of each one.

Garage Sale- One of the most common ways people sell their unwanted possessions is through a garage sale. Some questions to ask when considering this option? Is there enough stuff to attract buyers? Do you have a free weekend to commit to this? Would a few hundred dollars be worth hours of work? Could you take the same number of hours and make more money at your place of employment?
Positives: Garage sales do not have to take hours of prep. You can set up tables and put up signs. All shirts $1. All pants $2. Books .50. The bulk of the time will be on the weekend when the sale happens. It will require your undivided attention for at least 8 hours each day. Once the garage sale is over, your work is done. There is no delivering, packing, or shipping.
Negatives: Low return for your money. Personally, I will not pay more than 10-25% of original price at a garage sale. This method requires the entire weekend.

Facebook/ Craigslist- The most recently popular means of getting rid of clutter has been through Facebook sale sites and craigslist. Some questions to ask when considering this option? Is this item of a high value, that I cannot return the money in another method? Is it too heavy to be shipped? Is it something that couldn't be sold at a children's consignment sale?
Positives: For someone who works long hours, this method could be done anytime of day. It does not require a weekend. It is the least time consuming. It takes 5 minutes to list it. If you meet someone nearby, you can drop it off in a few minutes also.
Negatives: I know many people that have been stood up. Meeting 2 to 3 people because the first 1 or 2 have canceled is not saving time. And you have to consider how much gas you are using making those 3 trips. I hate to even mention it, but I will never use this method because I see it as unsafe. Our local preschool teacher and her husband were killed at a craigslist transaction. They were selling their car and had their car stolen. If you do this form of sale, please do it in the parking lot of a police station.

Consignment Sale/ Resale Shop- This is my favorite method of getting rid of unwanted stuff. Some questions to ask yourself when considering this option? Are you selling children's things? I appreciate this form of sale because at this point in my life, most of what I am getting rid of is stuff my kids are outgrowing. Are the items in great condition? Is it the right season to sell it?
Positives: A lot of money can be made at a consignment sale. Many times, if the item is popular, such as Legos, you can get 50% of original purchase price. That is far more than can be made at a garage sale. Someone else is selling it, so it doesn't require an entire weekend off. It requires time to input the items, but that can be worked on any time of day or night.
Negatives: Consignment sale people are picky. Even if there are no stains, if it looks worn, they won't take it. If it is the wrong season, they won't take it. So if you want to sell your kids' outdoor toys at the end of the summer, you have to store them somewhere during the winter. Some people think it takes too long to enter all of the data into the computer. I, personally, don't think it takes that long. You do have to make sure you know all of their rules. Make sure the hanger is facing the correct way, the clothes are pinned on correctly and the tags are attached properly. I usually take one Saturday afternoon to do it all. My husband takes the kiddos for a trip and I get it all done in about 6 hours.

eBay- eBay was once a favorite pick for people selling unwanted stuff. It's popularity isn't as high as it was 10 years ago. Some questions to ask when considering this option? Is this a rare item? Is this a collector's piece? How much would shipping cost? Would someone pay that much to have it shipped?
Positives: Putting something up for sale on eBay does not require much time. It can be done at any time day or night. If it is a rare item, it may be the best method for regaining your money. Millions of people shop on eBay. It is now an international market. A rare baseball card may not attract the right customer at a garage sale. But with eBay someone looking for your rare baseball card can find that card, and you to sell it to them.
Negatives: The market on eBay is oversaturated. If you go to eBay right now and type in Mickey Mouse clock, over 1,000 items come up. The supply/ demand rule tells us that when there is that much supply, and little demand, the price of the item goes down. Additionally, you have to include shipping in the price. Included with the shipping I would require proof of delivery because I have experience with more than one customer saying they didn't receive what I shipped. You also have to buy shipping materials. And if it is breakable and expensive, shipping insurance.

One last consideration. Our time is worth money. Our peace of mind is worth money. Most people are on this minimalist journey because they want a simpler, easier life with more free time. Holding onto this stuff for months waiting for the right buyer, or the right season for a garage sale, is that much more time and freedom this stuff is being allowed to take from you. When we donate our stuff, it is an act of compassion. Whether we give it to someone for free or we give it to an organization that will sell it for the fraction of the original price, we have helped someone in our community. Is it better to sell or donate? Only you know the answer to that question.

The Gift of Presence

The most precious gift we can offer others is our presence. When mindfulness embraces those we love, they will bloom like flowers. -Thich Nhat Hanh

Ten year old boys are tricky. I am still in shock that I have one already. He wants me nearby, but he doesn't want me or anyone else to know it. He wants me to tuck him in bed, but I can't hug him at the bus stop anymore. He needs his mama. But he also needs his mama to be present in a way that acknowledges he is getting older.

This week we created a squad of superheroes and villains. He loves to make up stories. Usually those stories are about the plastic superheroes for which he has so much affection. It allows him some creativity, but it restricts him. It is like coloring a picture instead of drawing his own. He has to stay in someone else's lines. He is using someone else's ideas, names and nemesis. I wanted to give him a blank slate, while taking advantage of spending some quality time together doing what he loves.

This project is easy, inexpensive, and doesn't take long. I bought a package of 8 wooden pegs at Hobby Lobby for 4 dollars. The only other supply needed is acrylic paint and brushes. We painted on capes, masks, and Luke chose an element to put on each superheroes chest. He has named them the Elemental Eight. There are heroes and villains among them. They all have powers and names that he thought of himself. All while spending time with his mama. Diving into the world of a ten year old boy for an afternoon was as much a gift to me and Luke as the new superheroes. One afternoon and hopefully memories that will last us both a lifetime.

No One Has Ever Become Poor by Giving. -Anne Frank

All the believers were one in heart and mind. No one claimed that any of their possessions was their own, but they shared everything they had. Acts 4:32

Could you imagine if we shared everything? No I am not a communist. I don't mean taking things from people and giving them to other people. I mean people wanting, choosing, desiring to share possessions, time, resources. People in the early church lived in this manner. They knew everything comes from God, we are mere stewards. In essence, a steward is a manager. When we die, we can't take our possessions, time or resources with us. They are on loan to us while we walk the earth.

What does it look like to be a good steward with possessions? Suppose you make a dress for your daughter, what do you do with the leftover fabric? Suppose you read a book, what do you do with it when you are finished? Can I make a suggestion? Pass it on. Give the fabric to someone who makes quilts. Don't know someone who makes quilts? Take it to Goodwill where someone can find it for half the price they would pay in the store. Give the book to a neighbor or a friend. Why don't we do that? The most common answer people give me, "I paid for it." I recognize that someone has to make the original purchase, but holding onto it doesn't get our money back. Passing it on actually makes the purchase more worthwhile. Can you imagine what would happen if we all shared the things we aren't using? We teach our children to share. I think it is time to start modeling for them what that looks like as we grow older.

What does it look like to be a good steward with our time? Since getting rid of half my possessions, I have more time. Less time buying, cleaning, sorting and organizing. More time to do what I want to do. I could spend it on social media, and I do. I could spend it on running for health reasons, and I do. But I can also spend some of my time in service to others. Have a friend who just had a baby and needs a meal? Have a friend who is sick and needs some groceries? Have a friend who works and their babysitter fell through? Time can be as much a gift as possessions. I have regretted afternoons spent on the computer. Rarely have I regretted serving a friend or family member.

Will you try it this week? Look for one thing in your home to give to a friend or family member who could use it. And consider spending one hour this week in service to someone in your community. Let's share everything we have.

Corrosive Play

I am reading Simplicity Parenting by Kim John Payne. This book is convicting that my children's world is not what I had hoped it would be. Payne discusses the dreams that we had before our children are born. He mentions pink paper handmade Valentines. Is their environment a reflection of that dream?

Specifically, I am on the chapter about environment. Even more specifically, those who know me, know toys are the hardest area for me to be minimal. I started this minimalist journey after most of these toys had been purchased. Payne talks about 2 things I wish I could change. They are linked to each other. One is to not have "corrosive toys". He isn't talking about squirt guns. He is talking about the guns and bombs that really look like guns and bombs. While, we don't have those, we have The Hulk. When my 4 year old plays with The Hulk, you know it is corrosive play. It isn't creative play. It is play that smashes everything. The second idea Payne discusses is having an ad free perimeter around your child. Fail #2. My children are obsessed with super heroes. They have just about every superhero ever heard of... 25 of them anyway. All plastic, Imaginext to be exact.

In an attempt this week to encourage creative productive play, we bought these construction toys. I filled a box of beans and handed the 4 year old the construction vehicles. He spent an hour pushing beans around, hiding toys in the beans, pouring the beans from one hand to the other. This is the kind of play I dreamed about before I had my children.... Then he went and found his super heroes and had an epic battle in the beans, which I am mostly ok with. Life is about balance. I would never take his superheroes from him. On the other hand, it was nice to see him play with something else for an hour. We took a step in the right direction.

How Much is Enough?

In my last post, How Much is Too Much, I shared some examples of what too much looks like. So, how much is enough? I get this question every time someone begins down sizing. How many towels do I need? How many toys should my kids have? How many dishes should I have? How many pots and pans should I have? How many clothes should I have?

There is no magic number. What I try to teach people is to ask themselves questions. If you can find the right question, you can find the right answer, for your life situation. Using the questions already raised, here are the questions I would ask myself.

How many bath towels are enough?
How many people are in your family? How often do you do laundry? How often do you have out of town guests staying with you? What is the maximum number of people using towels in your home, if you have all of your guests there?

How many toys should my kids have?
How many kids do you have? How often do other children come over to play? How long does it take them to pick up toys? Are they good at maintaining their toys and keeping them picked up? Are they even able to pick them up if they are all out at the same time?

How many dishes should I have?
How many members are in your family? How often do you wash the dishes? How often do guests visit? Do you use paper plates when you have a large group of guests? Do you want special dishes for holidays? Have you ever used your china? (Don't keep it if you aren't going to use it. But really, just use it! Then keeping it will be a joy not a burden.)

How many pots and pans should I have?
Who does the cooking? Could you use the larger saucepan instead of the smaller saucepan, and donate the smaller saucepan? How often do you make big meals?

How many clothes should I have?
How often do you do laundry? Do you need to wear more formal or more casual clothing? Is there anything that you have been saving because you don't fit into it? (If it hasn't happened in a year, it isn't going to happen before it goes out of style. Let it go. Embrace what you look like now.) Is there anything that you save for a special occasion that never happens? Is there anything that you aren't wearing because you don't like it but it is sentimental. (Take a picture of it.)

And if all else fails... Don't ask yourself if you COULD ever use it again. Ask yourself if you will ever NEED it again, and how much it would cost to replace. Pick an amount you are comfortable with. For many people that amount is 20 dollars. If you get rid of it, and it turns out you need it, run to Target and buy it for 20 bucks. When unsure about how many of something to keep, ask yourself a question. Then you will know just the right amount for your situation.

How Much is Too Much?

Why moderately minimalist? A friend commented to me today that she doesn't think many minimalists would call themselves moderate. I chuckled. Probably not. So why do I? I do not want the smallest amount possible -minimal. The moderately minimalist approach was a reaction to my previous way of life -too much.

When does it all become too much? You know it is too much when you can't fit one car into a 3 car garage. You know it is too much when you can't set the groceries down on the kitchen counter without first clearing it off. You know it is too much when it takes children longer to clean up the toys than they spent playing with them. You know it is too much when you go to grab a storage container and they all fall out on your head. You know it is too much when you are too embarrassed by the mess to have friends visit.

While on the surface we believed society when they told us all of that stuff meant we were living the American dream, deep in our souls we knew we were beginning to drown. Instead of our stuff serving us, the way we imagined it when we bought it, we spent our free time serving our stuff. Buying it, cleaning it, organizing it, displaying it, moving it again. We came to the end of our consumer selves. Now we see stuff for what it is, just stuff. We are not anti-stuff. If the stuff is serving a purpose, cooking our food, clothing our body, playing music, it can stay. It is only the useless stuff, the stuff that hasn't been used in 6 months that has to go. As that stuff goes out the door, so does the time it took to maintain the stuff. Now that time is mine. Now the car can go in the garage. The groceries can be set on the counter. The children have more time to play. And friends can come to visit. Freedom.

Celebrating Dad

Being true to our moderately minimalist philosophy, we celebrated Father's Day with experiences. Saturday night, our 10 year old took his dad out for Chinese food. I don't like ginger. It is very hard for someone who doesn't like ginger to eat Chinese food. My husband is forever complaining that he doesn't get enough Chinese food in his life. My ten year old likes all the food. All food, everywhere. And at the moment, he likes all food, everywhere, and lots of it. He must be growing. So it was the perfect match. They ate their Chinese food while the 4 year old and I stayed home and made ice cream cake. Yum! Then after church today, the kids gave him their homemade cards and I made steak fajitas. He felt appreciated. There is nothing to wash or organize or put away as the result. That makes everyone happy.

Moderately Minimalist in the Toy Department

"How many toys do you have?" I get this question more than any other question. People ask me what I think is the right number of cars? The right number of dolls? The right number of stuffed animals? There is no magic number.

There are many things I consider when deciding how many toys to allow my children. Here are the top 3 things I consider:
1. My children only have 2 hands each. Children do not need 30 dinosaurs. They only have 2 hands. Even with two of them playing, they would need to put down the two dinosaurs they were playing with, and pick up a different two at least 7 times. For 2 boys, 8-10 dinosaurs is more than enough. The same theory goes for cars, Barbies, action figures, stuffed animals, etc.
2. How much space are the toys allowed? All of our toys go on a book shelf. They all have to fit. (We do have a trunk for Duplos because with the size and nature of Duplos, they wouldn't fit well on a shelf.) All of the dinosaurs, cars, action figures and blocks have to fit on the shelf.
3. How long does it take to pick up every toy in our home, should they all get pulled out? In our home, 5 minutes and 20 seconds. The moderately minimalist dad hates coming home to toys all over. So 30 minutes before he is scheduled to come home, the boys are told to put it all away. To make it fun one day, I asked if I could time them. To put away every toy in our entire home takes 5 minutes and 20 seconds. That is a number that seems reasonable to me. Find a number that is reasonable to you. The next time the toys are all out, tell the kids they have to beat the timer.

There is a common misconception that more toys make children more creative. It isn't true. A child who has a toy space ship will never turn an oatmeal container into a space ship. Taking away toys encourages children to use their imaginations.

The Perfect Hostess Gift

I attended a dinner party tonight. My friend, Katie, renovated her kitchen. She had several friends over to enjoy her new kitchen. The old me would have stressed over a gift. I probably would have spent my day searching for neutral looking pot holders or kitchen towels, a candle. I would have wanted to spend enough money for it to look nice, but not so much money that it seems over the top. Not this time.

Being moderately minimalist now, I simply asked her. "Is there a wine or coffee that you enjoy?" She said, "I enjoy red wine." That was so much easier! If wines intimidate you, use Google. Google is a wonderful tool for situations like this. I typed in "best cheap wines". I found 2 entries for wines under 20 bucks. Ravenswood was on both lists. I drove to the store and bought a bottle. I was able to enjoy the rest of my day, without stressing over the gift. Katie can enjoy the wine. She doesn't have to pretend to like some towels or a candle. The gift is consumable. It will be gone in a week. We are both happy.

Weight Loss Tools and Gadgets- All You Need

My Dr. has asked that I lose 15 lbs. in order to avoid diabetes. Diabetes runs in my family. I also had gestational diabetes during both pregnancies. I am 40. I know this weight loss thing doesn't get any easier as we age. So I am diligently working at my health.

Do you have any idea how much stuff they have out there to help us lose weight? I used to work at Bed Bath and Beyond. Every January we would put weight loss merchandise in the aisles for those with New Year's Resolutions to lose weight. In the "housewares" section there were food scales, measuring cups, measuring spoons, juicers, salad spinners, salad shooters and a gadget to specially cut every fruit and veggie in existence. There are avocado slicers, apple corers, apple slicers, pineapple slicers, banana keepers, strawberry hullers, corn peelers and cherry pitters. On the other side of the store were the yoga pants, tank tops, balance balls, weights, heart rate monitor, work out DVDs, and body scales. There is a lot of money being made off of people getting healthy! Of all the items I named, I own 4. I own measuring cups and spoons. I own a food scale and a body scale.

Losing weight doesn't have to cost a lot of money, or require a lot of stuff. I make healthy food from scratch. I use my knife and cutting board. My knife and cutting board can do all of the things the afore mentioned gadgets could do. I own a very nice pair of running shoes from a running company. They watched me run and helped fit me with the perfect pair of shoes. I run outside. All I need are my shoes. I run in clothes that I already owned. I did not go out and buy special shorts and t-shirts to run in. I am not trying to make anyone feel guilty. Some readers, no doubt, are very serious athletes. You actually need special clothes and equipment. But does the average person need special equipment to lose 15-25 lbs.? Retailers would like people to think all of these things they are selling are necessary. They are not.

Raising a Mini-Minimalist

My 4 year old saw this picture of a piece of artwork today. He had one thing to say, "Whoah, too many cars." Ha! I think I may be raising a mini-minimalist.

Wasteful

Do you ever keep something because it seems like it would be wasteful to get rid of it? I bought this blush a month ago. It looked similar to the color I had used up. It is called "glow". Apparently my color is not "glow". My color is "St. Lucia". It took me a month to realize this was not the right color for me. So now I have a blush that has been used for one month, and does not look good on me. What do I do with it? The old me would have kept it on the shelf in my linen closet, because it would be wasteful to throw it away. It would have sat there for 6 months or a year. Then I would have said, that make up is over 6 months old, it needs to be disposed of. But it would have sat there taking up space in my closet and mental space every time I saw it for 6 months. The new me, the moderate minimalist, threw it away today.

Surprisingly what helped me get rid of that blush today is something an old Weight Watchers coach told me. She said, "Don't eat the last bites of food on your plate if you are full. There are 2 choices. You can let it go to waste, or you can let it go to your waist." Her point was that the food is no longer useful. It isn't enough to save for another meal. But eating it wasn't getting money back. It was just causing more work when I had to run it off. Now when I have something that I have purchased and used part of when I realize it isn't quite right, I think about what my weight watchers coach said. I can try to get my money's worth by hanging onto it. Or I can accept that the money is already spent, and let it go. Which will be more freeing? Letting it go.

Not Blank Walls

I am not a fan of blank walls. And I am not a fan of hanging things on the wall just so I don't have blank walls. So what's a moderate minimalist to do? Be discerning. Only allow things on the walls that have meaning. After all, minimalists aren't nothingists. I don't want to have less for the sake of having less. I want to have less so that I can more appreciate what I do own.

Last week was VBS. I love VBS. A week of friends and songs and learning about God. Our church decided a few years ago not to do cheesy little crafts. You know, the paper plate crafts that come home and you wonder how long you have to keep it to prove that you appreciate it? Our church decided to forego the 5 cheesy crafts for one nice craft that is worth keeping. Last week my boys made chalk boards. And today we hung those chalk boards in the kitchen. They have completely earned their wall space. They remind us of that week of friends and songs and learning about God. They bring us joy. And those are the things worth keeping around.

Time Well Spent

Since minimizing, I have extra time. Time not spent putting stuff away, cleaning stuff, organizing stuff. Sadly, I don't always use that time in a beneficial way. I might watch a movie. I might browse social media. Some down time is beneficial, but often not as much as I abuse.

Today, I used my extra time well. A year ago, I lost 20 lbs. Sadly, I have gained 12 of those lbs. back. Today I used my extra time to exercise and fix fresh food. This morning I took the boys to the park and exercised while they tossed a football back and forth. This afternoon I chopped pineapples, cucumbers, tomatoes, onions, etc. I put them all in containers to grab when I am feeling hungry. I made a meal from scratch that was tasty and healthy. Trying to become healthy again would be so overwhelming if it were not for the extra time I enjoy. Instead of overwhelmed tonight, I feel energetic and pleased that I have corrected course without a total upheaval to my home. I do benefit from being able to make changes without the difficulty of stuff distracting us from our efforts. And even more, I think my husband children benefit. Our home feels like a place of comfort and joy.

It Might Break

A little while back, one of my children came to me crying. Their shield had broken. I said, "Wow awesome! Did a dragon take a bite out of it or was it hit by a sword?" My child was not amused and could not be persuaded that this defect is ok. Perhaps it makes the shield more tough because it has already been through battle? Not in his eyes.

The broken shield brought to the surface a fear that something would happen to his other toys. He began to tell his brother about other toys, "We shouldn't play with that. It might break." If the toy was special, it needed saved. Watching this happen was comical. He was essentially saying, "We shouldn't play with that. If we play with it now, we may not get to play with it later." And later never came. So now it never gets played with at all.

Before you judge the logic of my children, allow me to challenge some similar adult logic. Those are my nice shoes. I can't wear them everyday. Those are the nice dishes. We need to save them for a special occasion. The shoes are only worn a handful of times and they are now out of style, barely used or enjoyed. The occasions for the special dishes are often passed up because children may be present. They may get broken. Yes! They may get broken. They are things. They will not last forever. From the time they are created they are wearing out and breaking down. So enjoy them while you can! Don't wait until a special occasion to pull out the dishes. Make this Saturday night special and use them now. If they break, we can say we enjoyed them. I am certain we will enjoy them more using them than we will keeping them packed in a box somewhere. Put on the nice shoes! Wear them everyday until there is no wear left in them. I would rather feel like I have cute shoes on everyday for 3 months than 7 times over 3 years. Let's learn a lesson from my children. Let's use things now because later may never arrive. Then we will have never used them at all.

Minimalist Voices

Standing up and declaring I won't have my success measured by my possessions in our society is not easy. I need encouragement, reminders, some days even direction. Knowing people in the minimalist community who provide that voice is essential. I am compiling a list of minimalists and their strengths. I am sharing the first 5 minimalists today. These are people most everyone in the minimalist community knows. If you are new to minimalism, check them out.

1. Joshua Becker, blogger and author
Joshua blogs at Becoming Minimalist.
http://www.becomingminimalist.com/
Joshua is married with 2 kids. His style of minimalism is very family friendly. He is easily the most inspirational minimalist out there. He is working on a project with orphans in Honduras. He has a very gentle approach. On his blog he has written a letter to family members of minimalists who don't understand the concept. He is known for saying, "Maybe the life you've always wanted to live is buried underneath everything you own."

2. Joshua Fields Milburn and Ryan Nicodemus, bloggers and authors
Joshua and Ryan blog at The Minimalists.
http://www.theminimalists.com/about/
If my single sisters were to come to me tomorrow and tell me they were interested in minimalism, these are the guys I would recommend they follow. They have no kids. The pictures on their blog look a little stark. Very serious about their minimalism. Not really family friendly. They have written the book, Everything That Remains. Joshua has written some about his minimalist diet.

3. Leo Babauta, blogger and author
Leo blogs at Zen Habits.
http://zenhabits.net/
I haven't read much of Leo's stuff. I am not into Zen. But Leo has the feel of a life coach. He concentrates much less on the possessions. He is talking about changing habits and discipline. He has written several ebooks, and one print book, The Fine Art of Limiting Yourself to the Essential in Business and in Life. Leo is known for saying, “Instead of focusing on how much you can accomplish, focus on how much you can absolutely love what you’re doing.”

4. Marie Kondo, author
Marie Kondo wrote The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up. Marie is a Japanese cleaning consultant. I am going to admit, I don't connect with her style... at all. I think minimizing is about detaching ourselves from our possessions. Our possessions do a job for us. When they are no longer useful they go. Marie believes in having a relationship with your things. Be grateful to your socks for the job they do for you. If you cannot have a relationship with an item, it must go. I am probably not describing it accurately, because I don't get it. But I am mentioning her because I know MANY people who have found great success using her method. So if the first three minimalists don't speak to your heart, try her.

5. Kim John Payne, blogger and author
Kim John Payne blogs at Simplicity Parenting.
http://www.simplicityparenting.com/blog/
Simplicity Parenting is the most life changing minimalist book I have read. And actually, I don't know that the word minimalist was ever used. The book suggests getting rid of half your child's toys, then half it again. And the reasons for doing so are clearly outlined. But the book doesn't stop at possessions. A child needs a rhythm to their day and quiet space. I strongly recommend this book for anyone with kids.

Rest

“Rest is not idleness, and to lie sometimes on the grass under trees on a summer's day, listening to the murmur of the water, or watching the clouds float across the sky, is by no means a waste of time.” -John Lubbock

Even God took a day of rest. So it is a little absurd that our society has decided we don't need rest. Living everyday like the next, hurrying through trying to get as much done as we can. Hurrying through the week to get to the weekend. Hurrying on the weekend to get everything done before going back to work. My husband and I call this do do. We are tempted to do do do do because we think it proves how important we are. Clutter in life is not only physical. Mental clutter needs cleared out as well. Even kids have baseball practices or games 7 days/ week now. An activity that was meant to bring us joy has become burdensome, tiring.

When we first decided we were going to practice a day of rest, I was fearful. I was anxious. I felt "stress". How would I get everything done in 6 days and not 7? Ridiculous thoughts entered my head like what if we need toilet paper? Where do those thoughts come from? I have no intention of going to the store on Christmas either, and I don't worry that I won't have toilet paper. We learned to be intentional. On Saturday I ask myself, do I have everything I need so that I can rest tomorrow? We learned to find out ahead of time how many practices being on that team entailed. We told our children they could choose only one activity and it could not take place on our day of rest. Luke chose art classes, they take place on Wednesdays.

When we began taking our day of rest, we discovered that this day of rest is the exact opposite of stressful. I don't have to sit in traffic. I don't have to stand in line. I don't have to pay for anything. Don't have to mow the lawn. No arguing with kids about homework. I can sit and read. I can go for a walk. I can take a nap. I can talk with family and friends. At the end of the day I feel refreshed, like a new woman. You might wonder how we get everything done in 6 days? We are more productive the other 6 days, thanks to that one day off. And who can't shave some time each day off of social media? One look at facebook or twitter or Pinterest tells me that the average person in our society does have some extra time.

The moderately minimalist family not only cleaned off our counters and our bookcases, we also cleaned off our schedules. We got rid of the do do. One day each week, we have just one task on our schedule... REST.

30 Day Habit Promoting Minimalism

VBS ended at my church yesterday. VBS was my last commitment for the year. Now that I have kids my year follows the school schedule, not the calendar year. Today officially feels like the first day of summer. I am taking a break from all commitments this summer. I am officially in charge of nothing. A glorious feeling that I need to enjoy because in August, I will pick many responsibilities up again.

This seems like the perfect time to start my friend, Meredith's, challenge. Here it is if you want to join: http://www.meredithmhoward.com/news/2015/5/11/30-day-challenge She is challenging people to do something for 30 days. I am choosing blogging. I want to have a minimalist blog because this is a topic that I feel passionately about that there isn't a lot of information out there for people. My biggest passion in life is my faith in God, but there are books and blogs about that everywhere. Minimalism is my second passion in life, and actually ties in to my faith. Minimalism information is much more challenging to find. If I have a question about minimalist music collections or how to keep my kid's toys minimal, there are very few resources. We have The Minimalists, Joshua Becker, Miss Minimalist and the Everyday Minimalist blogging. For books we can read Simplicity Parenting and the Joy of Less.... And then what? I really hope the minimalist community continues to grow. In the meantime, anyone who practices this lifestyle needs to speak up and share.

I have a passion for minimalism. I see a need for more minimalist resources. So why is blogging so difficult? I think Meredith is right, it is work. Minimalism is not difficult to practice. Just don't buy stuff. The promotion of minimalism is work. I am involved as group owner on a message board on Babycenter called Becoming A Minimalist. Most days it is my favorite place in the world. But initially, it did require a self-discipline to go there everyday and check on it and make sure everything was running smoothly. Eventually it became an enjoyable habit. That is my hope for this project. I want blogging about our moderately minimalist life to be a habit that I look forward to. So, here is day 1.

What Really Matters

Our lives are too valuable to waste chasing possessions. And so is yours. -Joshua Becker

A great portion of what we spend our time on, really doesn't matter. Living in a first world country, makes this even more true. We spend ridiculous amounts of time on TV shows, playing video games, shopping for the perfect home decor. None of that really matters. None of that is going to make a difference in the life of someone else.

There are two projects I have been watching. They matter. One is minimalist Joshua Becker's project in Honduras. He is researching better options for orphanages. You can read about it here:
http://www.becomingminimalist.com/best-view/

The other project is an adoption my friends are working on, to bring a little boy home from China. You can read and donate for it here:
http://christagermany.blogspot.com/2015/04/this-was-picture-that-started-it-all.html?spref=fb

Both of these projects are going to have a significant impact on someone else's life. My friends are having a garage sale to raise money at the end of June. I have been going through clothes to give them to sell. And we gave up our MegaBloks. We already have Duplos. We don't need both. But Garrick does need a home. So we gave our MegaBloks to our friends to sell in their upcoming garage sale. People are more important than things. We should live like we believe that.

I challenge all of us to look at how we are spending our time. Are we working on things that really matter? Or are we entertaining ourselves? I am not saying we can't ever have down time. Without some down time, we burn out and are no good to anyone. But I don't see that as the number one problem for most people. Most people could benefit from putting down the smartphone for a day. Let's make the most of the time we have been given.

Celebrating Another Year In School

How do you celebrate your child's year end accomplishment? Fourth grade was, by far, our hardest year yet. He did it! We never, ever have to do fourth grade again! This is serious reason to celebrate.

Little brother is also celebrating. Luke will be home all summer! They are such close buddies. Everyday Drew waits at the back window watching for Luke to get off the bus. Sometimes he watches for an hour. So Drew is celebrating as much as Luke. Brother is home everyday for 10 weeks!

So, how did we celebrate? Before my minimalist days, I would buy books to celebrate the last day of school. Which isn't an awful idea, but books are easily borrowed from the library for free. We don't need books sitting on shelves in our home. The library is 5 minutes away. Then for a couple years I bought lego sets. Again, not a horrible idea. We love "building toys" in our home. They are very versatile. We rarely build things the same way twice. They encourage creativity. They don't take up much space. But we have plenty, and there comes a point where adding more isn't necessarily useful.

This year we made an ice cream cake. Drew was excited to help. He wanted to surprise his buddy. Luke LOVES ice cream cake. And the best part, it is consumable. Consumable gifts are my favorite. So this year, on the last day of school, we ate ice cream cake and played a matching game. Everyone was happy, including the moderately minimalist mom.

Minimalist Perks

One of the best parts of being a child in a minimalist family. Easy to find great hiding spots.

Minimizing Schedules

Saturday I went to a garden party. A dear friend of mine spoke about finding and following our passion. She said, "Everyone close your eyes. When you open them look for everything brown. Open your eyes. Close your eyes. When you open them look for everything red. Open them." Her point was that we see what we are looking for. When we are looking for brown, we see lots of brown and not red. When we are looking for red we see red and not brown.
What are we seeing in life? What is our passion? Children? Faith? Music? Are we doing these things? Or are we so busy running around pleasing people that we aren't doing our passion? People ask much of us. Watch my kids, plan this event, teach this class. When we say yes to everything without the filter of what is our passion, we lose our identity.
Ironically, she mentioned some advice I had given her about minimizing your child's room. Do not ask them to evaluate each item and decide what to keep or get rid of. You will never progress. Instead pull everything out of the room, and only put back what you use and love. Likewise, with our schedules, we need to take times of clearing everything off and only putting back what we feel passionately about.
My schedule has gotten out of hand. Many who read this blog know that. Some of my friends have a joke. If they need someone to do something and can't find anyone, they say, "Just ask Karen." and they laugh. My last obligation for this year ends on the last day of VBS, June 5th. Sounds like the perfect time to clear off the schedule, and this time only put on what I feel truly passionate about.

Maintaining a Minimalist Wardrobe

Hello!

Goodbye!

The key element to maintaining the minimalist wardrobe is to choose something to take out of the wardrobe each time you bring something in to the wardrobe. Purging massive amounts of clothing, or anything else for that matter, is not fun. Since I have already done that once in my life, I want to maintain so as to not put myself through it again. As I mentioned in my last blog post, I purchased three new dresses for my wardrobe last weekend. Therefore, this weekend three dresses need to come out.

There are reasons I chose to get rid of the three dresses I chose. The blue dress was my husband's favorite. However, it now has a split in the seam. The type of material the dress is made from makes it unrealistic to expect that dress to be repaired and stay repaired. The black and gold dress was a Mother's Day gift from my husband one month after giving birth to my four year old. That dress was great for breast feeding. It also hid my "just had a baby" shape. My body isn't in that shape any longer. So not it just looks like a moo moo. The third dress, the tan dress, is the hardest for me to let go of. That dress made me look amazing! Looked, as in, past tense. I looked amazing in it 11 years ago before I had any children. Right now, I can barely zip it. Time to let it go, in order to make space for dresses that make me look amazing today.

I own four other dresses. One dress is for winter. It is long sleeved and made of warm material. The second dress is denim and very versatile. I can wear that dress in the winter with boots, or in the summer with flip flops. The third dress is my "little black dress" that mostly gets worn on dates. Then I have one last dress that I would like to have turned into a shirt. I will probably post more about this dress in the future when I find the right person to turn it into a shirt.

Six dresses sounds like a lot. But I wear at least one, sometimes two dresses each week. I have 33 pieces in my summer wardrobe and 33 pieces in my winter wardrobe. So these 6 dresses are less than 10%. I will be blogging more about my summer capsule wardrobe, as I iron out the details. I wanted to share about my dresses, as they are decided upon.

Why I Will Never Own a Uniform Wardrobe Again

The minimalist community is talking about wardrobes again. As warm weather arrives we are evaluating our "summer" clothing. One of my favorite bloggers, Joshua Becker from Becoming Minimalist, posted this piece today, in an attempt to convince his readers to adopt a uniform wardrobe: http://www.becomingminimalist.com/wear-one/. The other very popular minimalist wardrobe, the 333 capsule wardrobe, has an explanation here: http://theproject333.com/.

For those of you who don't feel like reading, here is the abbreviated version. Project 333 challenges you to reduce your wardrobe to 33 pieces of clothing for 3 months. At the end of those 3 months, you reevaluate your clothing, deciding what worked well, what will work with the upcoming season and adjusts accordingly. The uniform wardrobe takes this process one step further. The idea is, if you wear the same thing every day, it reduces the time and energy spent each morning deciding what to wear. Now people do not literally wear the same clothing everyday. The idea is to have 4 pairs of similar pants and 8 tops, maybe a few sweaters or scarves.

As I began my minimalist journey, I am embarrassed to admit I owned over 100 pieces of clothing. My first goal was to own under 100 pieces. Six months after paring down to 100 pieces, I couldn't remember what I had purged. Those clothes had no meaning to me. Seeing less in my closet every morning made me happier. My mornings were easier with fewer clothes to comb through. I took the next step, a capsule wardrobe. I started project 333, but instead of reevaluating every 3 months, I reevaluate every 6 months. I live in a climate which is warm 6 months, and cooler the other 6 months, and never really frigid. This next step in my minimalist journey was again a success. I felt freer, having even fewer clothes to comb through in the morning. As long as I do laundry once/ week, I never lack for anything to wear. I figured, if owning less than 100 was freeing and then owning 33 was freeing, time to take the next step: a uniform wardrobe. I pared my wardrobe down to 2 pairs of blue jeans and a pair of black jeans. I kept 8 short sleeved shirts and 4 tanks to layer underneath them. I kept 3 scarves and 2 short sleeved cardigans. I kept 3 dresses in case of a wedding, funeral or other special occasion, but I even began wearing jeans to church.

I hated the uniform wardrobe. Were my mornings easy? Sure. Put on a pair of jeans, tank and shirt. But really how is that any easier than it was when I owned a larger variety? How is it any easier to put on a pair of jeans and shirt than it is to put on a cute skirt and shirt? I had not gained anything between my capsule wardrobe and my uniform wardrobe. But I had lost something. I lost my spark. I lost the ability to express what I was feeling by what I was wearing. On a sunny spring day I love to throw on a skirt and there is a bounce in my step. On a rainy day I wear a hoody and my clothes reflect those feelings. With a uniform wardrobe, everyday is exactly the same. I also saw other people in their cute clothes and wished I were wearing them. Then I realized I could be again. I tried the uniform wardrobe for 6 months. I will never do it again. This weekend I went out and bought 3 super cute dresses. They look happy. I cannot look at that orange and denim dress at the top of this post and not smile. I am not making my wardrobe larger. I am just putting the feeling back in the way I dress. I will be getting rid of the three dresses I had to make room for my new dresses. I plan to give away some of my plain short sleeved shirts and buy some colorful blouses and tunics. Is this less minimalist? Personally, I don't think so. 33 pieces is 33 pieces. And 33 is not a magic number. Some minimalists may disagree. Another reason I choose to live the moderately minimalist life.

Weekend Happenings

Shopping makes me a wreck. I get rid of everything that I don't use or love. That puts a lot of pressure on a shopping trip. If I don't end up loving and using what I purchase, it is a complete waste of money. I would prefer not to have to shop at all. But that isn't reality. In reality things break down and need replaced. Specifically, a pair of cloth brown ballet shoes wore a hole in the toe. Since those were the only shoes that matched my brown tone skirts, I haven't been wearing them. At this point, I either need new shoes or the skirts have to go. Since it is almost summer, I bought an inexpensive pair of flip flops that will do the job.

Tomorrow my husband and I have a date planned. He suggested I buy a new dress for the date. One of my favorite dresses has developed an issue with the seam. The dress is really too old to make repairing it make sense. So tomorrow I am meeting a friend at the Dress Barn. I love my friend's style. Everything she wears looks great on her. She says she isn't great at fashion, she just knows what looks good on her. I am hopeful that having her with me will make the trip more enjoyable. I am also aware that it might make me feel like I need to buy something just to make her feel good about coming with me. I cannot do that. If I don't love it, it will just sit in the closet. And I don't allow things to just sit in the closet. So as you can see this shopping trip is already giving me anxiety.

I have some friends who are not minimalists. They accuse minimalists of being even more focused on things than them. And in some ways they are right. I am much more aware of what I own than my average friend. So why do it at all? I also have more extra time and a cleaner house than my average friend. The decisions we make in life come with positives and negatives. Most days minimalism brings me more positives. But some days, like tomorrow, I have to face a negative. So shopping I will go, in hopes of finding the perfect dress for me.

"Minimalists don't do that."

I love painting my nails. Twice this week I have been given the side eye. You know the look people give sometimes, like you just grew a third head and they are looking at you from the side. As Christina gave me the side eye, she said, "I can't believe you did your nails. It doesn't seem like a very minimalist thing to do." Christina's issue with nail painting is probably the amount of stuff she thinks I need to keep them looking nice. Last night the comment came from a fellow minimalist, Jaime. Every time she sees my nails done, she says she doesn't consider it minimalist. Last night she asked me how much time I spend on my nails. To Jaime, spending time on unimportant things in not minimalist. Allow me to tell you why I believe they are wrong. Why that thinking can even be hypocritical.

How many people do you know that wake up, get out of bed and walk into the world looking like they did when they woke up? OK maybe that wouldn't be very sanitary. How many people do you know that walk around looking like they just stepped out of the shower? It takes time to dry your hair, comb it, straighten it, curl it. It takes time to put on make up, which Jaime does wear. So she is already spending time making herself look nice. My nails take 45 minutes every 10 days. That is an additional 5 minutes/ day when you average it out. As to Christina's argument, I am not an extreme minimalist that owns 2 outfits. I own 33 pieces of clothing per season. Not just to keep myself from having to wear dirty clothes. But because wearing different outfits is pleasing to me and those around me. I am not opposed to having things in order to look nice.

I probably own a lot less nail polish than the average woman who keeps her nails up. I only own a handful of bottles. Currently I have 4 colors, a glitter and a clear top coat. I also have one box of Sally Hansen nail strips. I will not buy another box until this box is gone. So while, I do paint my nails, I do it in a minimalist sort of way. "Minimalists don't do that" doesn't make sense. Minimalism isn't about the number of things you own. Minimalism is about owning things you need and that bring you joy. As people, we find joy in different places. When I look down at my pretty nails, they bring me joy. Therefore, they fit perfectly into my moderately minimalist life.